people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
