Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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