but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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