Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
