Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
