Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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