last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
