I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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