what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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