New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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