I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
