Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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