You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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