Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
