The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
