I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
