There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
