I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
