is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
