she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize