We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
