Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize