Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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