pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
