everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
