The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
