apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
