this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
