Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
