Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
