Will you blow on my dice?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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