youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize