i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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