I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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