Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
