My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She said her name was "party"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
