I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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