So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
