I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
send nudes
from the living room?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
