Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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