Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
