hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize