my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize