GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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