Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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