ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
