It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize