On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
