And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
