Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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