And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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