I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
