every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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