No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
