Non-Jews are for practice
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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