the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
