I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
