I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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