Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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