I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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