I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize