i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
