I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
